Becoming Adequate

For a long time I have wondered what makes one person confident and the other seemingly arrogant. I have often times kept to myself (and this is extremely difficult) yet knowing that I could have intervened and helped make things better. This is not because I think people do not know what they are doing but this is maybe because at the bottom of my heart, I simply love helping and facilitating for a good outcome. However, I have played small several times so others do not feel small around me. However, despite my efforts to play small, I have often been told that I am still coming across as assertive and others feel small. As I was reflecting on this recently, I came across, the famous speech by Marianne Williamson that’s speaks of one’s greatest fear being that they are a divine creature and most powerful beyond measure because they are after all made in the image of the divine! This has been my lifeline…

 

Often I have wondered whether it is the fear of inadequacy or even the fear of power that has many a time made me remain within my comfortable zones of influence. Despite knowing that I need to step out more and unleash my greatest and fullest potential, I still find myself holding onto what I deem my sphere of contentment and peace. This is maybe because I fear what will become of me if I truly am. It is not about people rather but about what I am capable of becoming and how I will be able to contain or fail to contain the possibilities when I finally become! What I have however learnt is that surrendering works very well and that whenever I feel that fear or hear that voice of judgment, I search deep within myself and remind myself that I have the divine inspiration that is WAY above me and cheers me on…it is about being part of the bigger picture and appreciating that in my most minute way, I can play a part in that bigger picture. I may not be the wealthiest person on earth, even the smartest but I am me – alive, capable, able and willing. That alone seems to be half the battle and once I keep the focus, I am sure it will all work out well and that everything will be just fine. Even when it seems not to be, the divine, in whose image I am made, has my back!

 

Going forward, I will NOT fear to become the me that I am becoming with each passing breath. I will step out with confidence and faith that I can be me and make a difference no matter the price. It is after all not about me but about what I have been given as gifts as I travel this life journey and that I ought not to keep holding onto whatever it is I am capable. Instead it is about letting go, becoming and embracing every moment that I am a part of and ceasing the opportunities to transform others and my reality. After all, I am indeed a child of God and playing small and shrinking does not manifest the glory of God nor does it let others light shine in order for us all to excel in our own personal spaces. I will soldier on and strive to be the very best that I can be and help others do the same. After all, i am the only one that knows the aspirations, the pain, joys, pleasure and smiles that come with becoming…and others will shine as well as I shine my own light!

 

 

 

 

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