Reflections by the gravesite

On Sunday 5 and Monday 6 January 2014, I lay to rest two close relatives and this felt sad. However what was even more profound was the reflection that came out of these two heart-wrecking moments. For both burials, I had the opportunity to be one of the very last people to leave the gravesite. I saw people walk and drive away one by one, in groups and so on. Most tears had been wiped away but I am sure the hearts were still bleeding. What was outstanding was that the lives of these two young people had been completed, the chapters of their lives had been closed and their life journey had ended. It mattered not what plans they had for the next day, minute or whatever, they were GONE! As I watched people go away and we completed covering the graves with soil, it dawned on me that one day, they would drive away from my very own gravesite. My life will have been lived, gone, sealed! The question that kept haunting me was what legacy would I leave behind? What will I have to show for my life that will forever stand as a testimony? Right there, I made a couple of decisions that I thought would help make my final moments on this earth count and make a lasting legacy:


  1. I will live life to the fullest. I realized that life is very, very short and no matter how much we might want to live forever, that will never ever be possible for there is a Higher Power that owns this breath. There is an expiration date to each of us and when that day comes, we shall indeed close the chapters of our lives. With this in mind, I see it worthwhile to live every second like it counts. Love like you have never been hurt, laugh like you have heard the last joke and just live, you do not own the next moment. Do not procrastinate anything for tomorrow that you can do today, life has no guarantee of you being there the next moment so please, like I decided, let us live life to the fullest. We are what we are now so let us make the very most and best out of it!
  2. I will make as much a difference as is within my ability. So many times in life when we see something that needs working on, we look to others for the solution. I made a decision to be the solution by doing that which I am able to do. Now don’t get me wrong here, I will not play God at all. This means making a difference where I see a challenge and I can do something about it within my reach. I will put in my very all and very best to make a difference so that I make a lasting legacy. This practically means transforming and touching lives in whatever small way I can and facilitating empowerment so that people live their lives in the very best of conditions and exercising their full potential.  I was put on this planet for a reason and I will not just be counted as someone who merely passed through this life but someone who meaningfully lived through becoming a mistress of my own and others destiny in whatever way possible. I am a Game Changer!
  3. I will relax. We live in a fast paced and information loaded era. No matter how much one reads, there are billions of information generators with each passing moment. Television screams to be watched, billboard charts fight for your attention, work and others demand of us. I made a decision to relax. Just to sit and listen to the birds and the bees. To take time out to connect with nature and do the very things I love doing. To treasure loved ones and develop deep lasting relationships that are not hindered by my ego. To not exist merely as a zombie or even on auto pilot but to live my life in the moment, the very now. I will not allow myself to be worked over and pressurized but will own my life and take time out every single day. I will give my children a reason to smile and understand what it means to have a mother. I will give my husband the reality of having a good spouse and growing a family. I will be a friend, sister and whatever it is so that I live life relaxed. Let us all do the very same


Just those few moments waiting for us to finish covering those two graves, my life was totally transformed. Sometimes its not just death that must inspire us, even as you read through this sharing, may you be encouraged to work through your own life ghosts and make a difference in your own life so that you live your life to the fullest and enjoy what it means being on this earth. I will talk to you real soon but meanwhile, live life. What are you waiting for?


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