Explorations of anger
I have been sick in the last couple of months and no matter what I did, things seemed to get worse. I have never in my life been so drawn out, drained and just plain exhausted. Moments spent at the doctors, day after day and explaining to people what was wrong with me because I had missed deadlines, meetings and so on just drained me even more. However, I knew that somewhere inside of me, I had to go on. I knew that whatever I faced, as an old friend of mine always says, “it shall pass”! The question was when? I then had my last session with my coach who told me that sometimes our bodies react to what we are feeling. In my case, she added that the unending menstrual bleeding could be a part of it. I had never thought of it so I gave it a try, explored my feelings and I discovered I was just angry.
Why the anger?
I was angry at the world for being so hard on women. Angry at my dad because I just thought he had failed at being a good dad. Angry with myself for being angry because it is not a good emotion (so I thought). Angry at God because so much was happening at church and I felt lost spiritually – thank God for that spirituality module because it too did help me LOADS. Angry that my property development efforts were not yielding much results as I hoped. Angry my business ideas were not advancing, as I wanted them to. Angry with my family because I was angry. Well, simply put, I was just angry for a lot of reasons and as I explored this anger, I discovered that it was a deliberate choice to stay angry at whatever I thought made me angry. So I decided that I would just sit with that anger and chat my anger journal as I explored what was happening. Funny, as I did that, the bleeding was also stopping and my body started responding to treatment! The anger started melting away somehow.
Where am I now?
I have chosen to stay happy. Happiness is a state of the mind and no matter what we might think; we choose to stay happy in spite of what out surroundings may be. How did all those amazing people like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and you, chose to stay happy in spite of what they faced. They did make a difference in spite of what surrounded them all right. So now, I have decided to stay happy. Joyous smile with every moment. Exploration of humour in spite of the moment that has gotten me where I am today. No valley is worth your sorrow, it is all about us embracing peace, love, harmony and joy no matter what it looks like and hey, even anger is a good emotion and being able to explore it and channel that energy into useful productive efforts makes that anger even more welcome. Lets celebrate ourselves and not let circumstances weight us down. This might affect your health and yet its is something within your capacity to mend so lets work on ourselves and make every moment count. I am doing that so lets walk this journey together…